☼ Find Me, Fix Me

I'm blind. And too prideful.

Even if I say and believe that I am nothing, I still have my stubborn pride.

That's what blinded me. I was blind and ignorant and I did not realize that I could not see. So when I fall, it surprises me. And it stings.

My pride fuels my destruction. It blinds me to all my weaknesses however much I know that they are there.

The path to self-destruction is a lonely one. You don't walk with anyone. Not for the whole way.

What's even worse than pride itself is a hurt pride. Can't think clearly, all you know is to say no.

Now you must prove to yourself and to everyone else that you can be someone who can live independently, someone who is self-sustaining. Someone who is their own person, and someone who isn't subject to the pressure of their peers. But also prove that in spite of it all, you can be somebody. You can be you, and that's all that matters. You must prove your sense of self-worth.

How, though, can you do that when you see yourself as nothing? How can you be so full of pride yet so full of shame of your own self? How do I escape this cycle?

But I guess the only good thing about cycles is that it comes full circle. Which means you always have a second chance...