What the fuck am I doing with my life?
Seriously.
Whenever I think about the future, all I see in front of me is blank sheet of nothingness.
I have no desire to live; why should I continue?
I would never come to meet the end myself, as much as I wish the end upon myself.
Home is a prison decorated with nice looking things
I hate so much
i hate and hate and hate and hate
enough to even hate you
FUCK
i look at you and i'm filled with shame
Funny how things happen
Sigh..I haven't blogged in a while.
Not sure if you have heard about what happened Casey Wang, but wow....just goes to show that doing well academically doesn't mean you're smart.
And apparently a similar incident happened with Connie Chen. Heard from Nancy, who heard from her dad, who used to be colleagues with Connie Chen's dad, and maybe from an aquaintance...anyway, I don't know her personally, but she was Nancy's stand partner in youth orchestra.
Things like these only strengthen my resolve to stay away from the party scene that is pretty much a given at any college. There are much better ways that I can use my time, even if it means staying indoors. Which, as a side thought, I really hope I get a good roommate =__=
So I haven't blogged for a while...well, the last time I did was this Monday, so that's pretty good.
This is just a random almagamation of things that have been happening, things that are going to happen, etc.
This will probably have no logical order lol.
Well, last night, I had a really strange dream. Apparently I was putting songs on iTunes or something for some of the time. And the only thing I remember putting on iTunes was some fictional song by the Pussy Cat Dolls featuring some guy group. Don't remember which group, or if it was even a real group, but they looked like gangsters lol. And I think there was one white guy. Hm...part of the dream also had to do with a mall, I think...
The weirdest part of the dream was that Justin Hsu (the guy who moved to Taiwan a few years ago) was in love/really really liked Gabby Tang. The girl who sometimes comes to Flame. Lol. That was so weird. And Justin had also given Gabby this slip of paper that told her how he felt (even though it was already obvious that he liked her) with really cheesy things that I don't quite remember though I remember the writing was in cursive. On the same piece of paper, he had gotten his friends to write about how he felt toward her and to confirm that he liked her or something. Yeah...so weird...those two haven't met before and couldn't have the chance to meet. Well I guess there's always a possibility, but that possibility is really slim...
So Homecoming was yesterday.
It was actually pretty fun since I went with people that I know and we actually danced.
First I went to Danielle's house for pictures. We first took pictures on the porch as we waited for Nancy, Nick, and Eric to arrive.
Nancy and Nick came soon, and we figured that Eric probably went with Shareen's group, so we left to take more pictures outside, near a lake with a fountain thing.
My camera ran out of battery since I hadn't charged it nor used it a lot recently. Ah well, it's alright. Usually I'm the one taking pictures of others, and there's not a whole lot of pictures with me in them. So I guess it's kind of nice to have more pictures of me for a change. After all, it's senior year.
Tell Me Goodbye
Sigh today...soo long...
Heaven (Candlelight Remix)
So in chem today, we finished the preparation of the standardization of NaOH. Fun....not.
Titrating is so tedious. Maybe we were too careful...oh well, at least we got good data and a nice, accurate looking titration curve.
I was looking back on posts that I had written in the "Nothings" category.
And you know what I learned?
I learned that there are an infinite number of ways to say the same thing over and over again, yet you still may not convey the right idea, and you may not know what you're trying to convey (much less if THAT is conveyed).
Confuddling stuff.
I also saw this: http://mindless.pixnet.net/blog/post/23528817
I slept so much yesterday.
My life is so irregular...there's barely any routine in it at all, besides the bare bones of waking up, going to school, coming back, then going to sleep eventually. Repeat.
Just randomly, I looked back on some posts that I've written in the past. They seem kind of interesting. Most of them actually talk about what went on during the day...
I should start doing that again...
But yeah, they were somewhat entertaining to read. I was amused especially by how much it seemed that I had to clarify things, and also the adding of so many details. Several times I was sidetracked lol.
I'm tired of second guessing
Just tell me what's what
Where to go, what to do, how to feel
Where you're going, what you're doing, how you're feeling
This world is so big, and I, who is so small, am lost...so out of place
I feel like I'm always contemplating my life...
I have no idea why I get on this website and just start talking about it...
It really seems that I use this constantly as a way of escape...a small window out of the reality called "Now."
Ugh....sore throat
I could be dying.
