☼ Find Me, Fix Me

...I don't really know where to start. Oh well.

Anyways, I signed up so that I could have somewhere to put all my thoughts onto. What better place than a blog? I've tried keeping a journal, but in the end, I fail and stop writing. And in the end, all these thoughts are still bottled up inside. It's uncomfortable, really...and it's tiring. I don't want to sound melodramatic, since I usually try to avoid drama in real life, but with all these things whirling inside my mind...it's unhealthy and tiresome - like the weight of world is on my shoulders. Hardly, I know, but sometimes I feel like I can't think anymore from thinking too much. Weird, I know. And I don't want to be...overbearing? Hm, probably not the right word. But I don't want to rant to another person, because truthfully, I doubt anyone would enjoy hearing me rant. Especially since I get sidetracked a lot. lol

I really do hope, though, that this will help relieve some of my thoughts, and in turn, relieve some stress. Because then I'll know that maybe someone knows what I'm going through. Just maybe. And maybe I can be understood, and maybe I can come to understand myself. They say that while we're teenage through young adult, we go through a period of searching for self, for one's own identity. I don't know if that's exactly true, but...I don't really know...

I kind of feel better already! That's a pretty good start, and a pretty good sign. I hope I don't bore you to death with my ramblings, but truth is, I don't really care. I know it sounds harsh and selfish, but life won't exactly always be exciting, will it? Anyways, you can always Alt-F4 and close the window or go to another website or read someone else's blog or something. Lol. But I guess I'll try to make it at least a little bit interesting, but don't count on it. I don't find myself amusing or very clever. Oh well. I'm glad my life isn't like Gossip Girl or Meteor Garden, though it would be kinda fun (for Meteor Garden, not Gossip Girl) for a while. But maybe having Allen as a brother will help up my game on the interesting-ness factor. lol. Or maybe it'll just make me sound retarded. But aren't we all a little insane?

Reminds me of the song "Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence:

It's true,

We're all a little insane.

But it's so clear

Now that I am unchained.

Fear is only in our minds,

Taking over all the time.

Fear is only in our minds,

But it's taking over all the time...