☼ Find Me, Fix Me

I don't understand

I really don't.

I'm a dreamer

Not a fighter.

I try to be selfless

And I like to think that I achieve that goal

Sometimes.

I don't know what to do.

I hate being nice.

It gets to be too difficult.

It would be so much easier to give up.

It's an intriguing concept;

A dreamer giving up her dreams.

It's up to, now, where the ocean parts

And whether or not it leads to my dreams.

Whatever happens

I'll decide whether to stay

Or fly...far away

All along, the whip was supposed to be in her hands
But she didn't want to hurt him, so she handed over the whip
And was whipped

So much stress

So much fatigue

It seems to be a prevalent motif in my life

I feel like I'm Alice in Wonderland

I don't feel like I'm the right Alice.

Those of you who have seen the movie know what I'm talking about.

I don't know if I can slay my fears.

I also feel like I'm in one of those novels with the theme of illusion versus reality...

At the end of those novels, the main character falls and breaks down, the world of illusion shattered by the realness and harshness of reality.

I'm wandering through life

I'm getting too predictable, aren't I?

Aren't I?

Even if the road leads you off the cliff, there is no other choice but to keep walking forward.

Walking quickly will lead you there earlier, and walking slowly will not prevent you from meeting the end.

Stopping will only let life pass you by and push you toward the edge.

The only way is to walk and enjoy everything, hold your head up high, and not miss a beat.

Try to do everything right.

But a voice in my head says, "I'm sorry, but you took the wrong step..."