☼ Find Me, Fix Me

So, I haven't really posted anything for a long time. The last post doesn't really count.

I don't really feel like typig anything right now...but oh well. I'm going to force myself to write something.

...Well, I actually still have quite a lot of summer homework to do. Which really isn't too good, considering my schedule for the rest of the summer..

Hmm...I'm not sure where to start. I'm pretty sure you're  expecting me to write about the Navajo trip.

Well, you all know (probably) that I didn't really want to go to Navajo this year, since there weren't very many people going at the beginning. And also, when there were a lot of people going, I still didn't particularly want to go, since most of the people going would not be my age. And the only people I really talk to, well, see more frequently, are Allen and Shawn.

Yeah, for those reasons, I didn't really want to go...but I was like, whatever. And I didn't really prepare myself fully for it.

I remember Mrs. Manning had asked me what job I wanted. I wasn't really sure, but my answer was "probably not tribal leader." I didn't feel like I could lead, and I didn't feel like I would be able to do the "job" well.

And then, when the job assignments came, I got assigned to be, as you all know, tribal (or rather, family) leader.

I was kind of surprised. Okay, really surprised, that Mrs. Manning or whoever assigned the jobs would put me in that position. I really didn't feel like I could do it.

But when Monday of the trip came around, I really felt, after the VBS was over, that I could do it. I could do it, because God leads me, and gives me the ability to do it.

One of the verses that we memorized on the trip was 1 Peter 4:16 - "If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen."

And I found out, firsthand, that when we serve, we do it with the strength and the power that God provides for us, so that all glory goes to Him who enables us, and not to ourselves. If it were only by our talents, all the praises would just go to ourselves.

And although the whole thing was a little beyond - okay, a lot beyond - the boundaries of my comfort zone, it really helped me to discover that God really can give us the ability to do things we would naturally, under normal conditions, never be able to do.

For example, when Karen told the family leaders that we had to be very active and involved and show a lot of excitement and energy during the opening and closing worship, I kind of sweatdropped. As you probably know, that kind of stuff isn't my thing.

But during the opening and cosing worship time, I found that God really allowed me to really be energetic, and I genuinely felt excited and energized while singing those praise songs to the Lord.

And I also felt another thing - happiness.

Serving God isn't always pain and suffering. It can be a truly joyful thing.

You know, Happiness was something I have pondered about for a long time.

What I could truly be happy with. What people consider as happiness. If true happiness could exist - how long it would last. If it were truly something - not just a mindset.

Happiness can be considered as a mindset, but I really believe that serving God an really bring true happiness.

And seeing all of the team members work together...showing so much unity, and a heart for the Navajo people....their devotion and heir love for God...was truly amazing. It was very encouraging.

All in all, I feel like I learned a lot from this trip, and I really hope that this feeling won't just be one of those highs, one of those things that shimmer for a while then fades away into that horrible black...

Anyways, I really hope I can go next year. And the year after that. And the year after that. And the year after that. And et cetera.

Lord willing, of course.