☼ Find Me, Fix Me

I feel like I'm always contemplating my life...

I have no idea why I get on this website and just start talking about it...

It really seems that I use this constantly as a way of escape...a small window out of the reality called "Now."

Ugh....sore throat

I could be dying.

Maybe that would be better.

Maybe life would make sense then.

Maybe then, there'd be no escape.

Do you remember?

Oh, do you remember those days, those minutes of happiness when we were young and untouched and innocent and carefree? When we didn't worry or think about what we say, when our hearts were worn on our sleeves and on our heads, and we pinky promised to always stay the same?

Remember those seconds of unbound happiness?

And oh, I think I could reminisce for years and centuries

Yet it would never change this moment.

Or the next.

Or the next after that.

Do you think human life is stupid?

We change as the world changes, conforming as it spins underneath the potter's ubiquitous hands -- the so-called "society."

We rule with our brains, and we're stupid, and what? It's stupid.

We rule with our hearts, and we're tainted, corrupt, and lost.

Humans must be ruled by something.

That is their vice.

Steel gripped and controlled often times by not what is evil in actuality, but when applied in principle.

Don't you think it's stupid?

Humans cause their own downfall. We prepare our own graves, practice to play dirges for our own funerals.

Is there need for lament?

Oh if it's true, lament the living...those living in darkness and shadows cast by their own hearts and minds.

And then what is your ruler? Your master?

Who is your king?

Where is your king?

Would you be ashamed? If you showed me who, what you're controlled by, would you be ashamed of it?

Yes, I am ashamed.

Ashamed for my king, with every moment I stumble, of such an unworthy servant.

Do you know Him?

We could dance forever in His light.

Remember those seconds, days, years, lifetimes?

When we knew that everyone belonged to the light, and we were unafraid of ourselves and unafraid of humans.

I could spend my life reminiscing, yet it wouldn't change this second or the next.

I could dance forever in His light..

Would you join me? Would it help if I took your hands in mine and we laughed like children?

I want to dance forever in His light..

Is that stupid?