☼ Find Me, Fix Me

Rollercoasters never get any better than this -__-

I've found out that the more I don't worry about things, the happier I am.

However, it's really difficult for me to not worry...

I wonder how long I'll be able to stand until I collapse from all the stress. Pun?

In any case...I still have the instinct to run away..immerse myself completely in something else, rather than face my problems head on.

Life is good. It's great. I have everything I could ask for, and more. Maybe not great grades, but that's my fault.

Other times...I can't stand sitting here, breathing. I can't stand myself.

Most times I don't even understand why things must be this way...

I have nothing to fear, nothing to need.

Yet...

I haven't updated in a long time...

I feel half submerged in a fantasy world, half living in a world of cold reality.

It's tiring. Running back and forth between these two worlds...

But I'm in no place to ask for anything.

Maybe it was my fault that I got sick at such a bad time.

Maybe it was my fault for still feeling crappy.

Maybe it was my fault for not having enough time to get everything done.

Maybe it was my fault for complaining so much.

Does every high in life have to come with a low?

It definitely feels that way.

Sometimes I fear I'm not strong enough to withstand living in this life, like a dry little leaf rattling in the fierce gusts of the wind.

Regardless of whatever, however...

Continuing on...that's the goal...

Going through life with as minimum a amount of scratches and cuts as possible...

But then is the end result apathy? No happiness. No sadness.

Nothing there?

No matter what, we all just have to grin and bear it. Grinning optional.

Just gotta weather the storm...

你是我心最爱的烦恼＾＿＾