☼ Find Me, Fix Me

Run - Snow Patrol 

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

So in yesterday's chatroom we were talking about the subject of leaving...

Although I'm afraid of the outcome...and of leaving...

I've decided to just trust that what we all have will stay real.

Sometimes I wished that I hadn't met you all so early on in life. That we could meet in college and have a better chance of staying together.

But wishing doesn't get us anywhere.

And, for some reason or another, it's for the best. The people we meet in our life...they come in at different times...and leave at different times. Sometimes fleeting, sometimes lasting. Some that just stay in that moment in which you knew them, some that are life-changing.

We can't really do much about it.

The possibility and likely reality of leaving is inevitable.

But we can try to keep this connection alive.

Try our best, and see if this road we're walking on splits into different directions, or stays the same. And if it does split into different directions...if the paths will be parallel or deviating...

Although my situation wasn't extreme, leaving and moving really affected my life. And I know that leaving hurts. And "Goodbye" is one of the hardest words to say, when you're not sure when the next "Hello" with them will be.

They say that the hardest things in life are the first hellos and the last goodbyes...

And I agree with that.

But for once in my life, I'll try not to think about the future.

I'll try not to look ahead through the heavy fog to see where this path leads.

I realize that not only it's impossible to see through the fog, but also that if I don't concentrate on the path right in front of me, I'll likely stumble.

If I stumble, I might hold others down or cause them to stumble.

So I won't worry about the future.

I'll focus on what we have right now.

And make the best of every moment.

Like in this song, I wish that we could all just run away, and stay in the moment.

But I know that that can't happen.

We have to meet the future head on.

And not try to anticipate it.

Because we cannot, anyways.

Some things we have to try, even if we know the chances of failing are high.

But this needs strength...

And I hope that everyone will keep their head up, no matter what happens in this fleeting life.

Light up...Light up...

As if you have a choice...

Even if you cannot hear my voice...

I'll be right beside you, dear...